Jodi's Journey

Jodi Browne Nevins is up and ready to start celebrating. The rest of the family arrives today. BBQ tonight, commencement and open house tomorrow. Praise God! We made it!

This was my status on Facebook this morning. When I wrote it tears started down my face. It is here. It is finally here. We are done with seminary! We started this journey when we got married in August 1997. Within a week of our wedding Eric started school. Except for a 3 year sabbatical in the middle to refocus, work on our marriage and faith and have 2 wonderful children we have been at this goal for almost 12 years! There are tears in my eyes and dancing in my heart. Hallelujah! Praise God! We made it! Thank you Lord for your ever presence thru it all. What an awesome God we serve!

I can not think of the words to express all I am feeling. I am so excited yet fearful about what is next for us. I know God is good and He will be our guide. He has shown his love, kindness, faithfulness and so much more over and over during this journey. He has revealed himself to me in new ways. He has helped me to break down some of my human grid that keeps Him out. There have been struggles of many kinds but after they pass I have been stronger and more lovely in His eyes. I have a thankful and full heart today.

Wow!  I never updated this blog after I had Josiah.  He was born less than 24 hours after my frustrating entry about being sent home from the hospital.  And he came quick.  I started getting hard labor pains when we were picking up Emily from school at 3pm.  We got home and started timing the contractions.  They were just 2-3 minutes apart.  We called the doctor and took the kids to our very gracious neighbors apartment.  We left around 4pm.  We must have reached the hospital at about 4:25pm.  Eric pulled up to the ER doors and we walked into the building where my water immediately broke.  They wanted me to "register" and such but I insisted on going upstairs to the delivery room.  Eric wheeled me down the hall to the elevator and to the nearest delivery room.  There was not a delivery bed in the room so the were taking the bed out and were trying to find a delivery bed.  After less than a minute Eric told them they better bring the other bed back in.  Josiah Browne Nevins was born less than 5 minutes later at 4:37pm.  It was crazy but good.  Definitely the way to go.  :o) 
In less than an hour I was in my recovery room.  Josiah was taken to the nursery for exams and his first bath.  A couple hours later they came in to tell us his white blood counts were not good (20,000 or so instead of over 150,000).  They were taking him to the NICU.  If his levels were to get down around 10,000 they would have to do a blood transfusion.  Fortunately the kids, Emi and Elijah, already had a chance to see their new little brother.  Eric and I immediately prayed and felt a great peace.  The next couple days doctors tried to figure out what was going one with Josiah.  His blood levels rose each time they did labs.  By Sunday night (he was born on Friday) his blood levels were over 100,000 and on Monday morning they said he could be circumsized and go home.  They thought it must have been some inconsistency with my blood and his.  We were overjoyed.  I had to go through the inconvenience of walking down to the NICU every couple hours to feed Josiah and spend an extra night in the hospital with him (Oh and it cost more money) but overall we were blessed with a quick stay.  We have a happy, healthy baby boy that is so very loved by everyone, especially his big brother and sister.

Last night I saw him.  The man I filed sexual harassment charges against.  I was surprised yet relieved about how I felt.  I was not afraid (or angry).  I felt peace and forgiveness.  It has been just over a year now since this whole thing began and I haven't seen him in many months.  I hope he knows I forgive him.  I always said I was not wanting to condemn but to help.  I hope he understands.  I hope good has come out of this ordeal.  I know I did the right thing but I worry it did not matter.  Is his marriage stronger because of it?  Mine certainly is.  God showed me just how much Eric loves Him and me.  Eric never doubted me.  He was there for me when I cried, doubted myself and was suffering from my most severe morning sickness yet.  It put me over his school work and everything else.  I know now that I am one of the most important things in his life.  I have needed to know that for awhile.  It is too bad it took going through such a tough time to recognize something that was there the whole time.  The change in my heart and life does make it worth it.  Thank you, Lord for showing your grace and mercy in this situation!  You are so good!

Well, in the last week I have heard a few stories of how the 3rd child has been the worst when it comes to labor and delivery.  I was hoping the same would not be true for me yet here I am.  After cleaning house, sending the kids to a friends house, getting something to eat and walking around Walmart for a few things I was having contractions 5 minutes apart so we decided we should go ahead and go to the hospital (about 8:30 pm).  After getting checked in and everything they checked to see how I was progressing.  The monitor showed me having contractions every 5 minutes but I was only 3 cm dilated still.  They wanted to stop the contractions with a shot because I am not 37 weeks until Saturday (less than 27 hours away technically).  We refused given my history of early labor and babies that were healthy and a good weight.  Lying in the bed the contractions seemed to ease but I figured it was because I was in the bed.  They tell you to get up and move, right?  So, we walked the halls. The nurse said she would check on my progress in two hours.  The contractions were starting to come every 4 minutes and were getting more intense.  I thought for sure I must be progressing.  Not at all, so we were sent home with a sleeping pill.  I was emberrassed and frustrated.
I immediately went to bed when we got home thinking my body must just be tired and doing weird things.  I fell asleep pretty quickly since when I lie down my contractions seem to stop.  I have woke up three times since then and each time my back was in a spasm and stomach tight, but they went away as I would lie there.  I got up to go to the bathroom and immediately back spasm and tense stomach.  I changed positions, settled in and went back to sleep.  Now it is after 3 am and I can't sleep because my mind is in a whirl.  What is going on?  If I can't walk across the room without feeling like I am contracting how will I know when I really am?  I had back labor with both Emi and Elijah.  I don't remember ever sitting down with Elijah when I went into labor and everything progressed fine.  When I walk around now my contractions get closer together and more intense but no progress.  Ugh!  Sitting here now my back is tensing and is causing quite a bit of pain, but I don't think that means anything.

Lord, please help me to be patient and know you are in control.  You know exactly what will happen and how.  You know my fears and my frustrations.  Please help me to sleep so I am as rested as possible when this baby is born.  Give me peace and joy in this situation.  Give us clear direction as to whether or not Eric should go to work in the morning.  Thank you for your ever presence. 
We'll keep you updated!  Thank you for your prayers!

Jodi

I forgot to mention that I had a doctor's appointment earlier in the day and my doctor told me I was 3 cm dilated and there was some bloody show.  I had been feeling shaky most of the morning and had a little bit of nausea.  He thought he would see me at the hospital in the next 48 hours.  There was a lot of pressure on my cervix - whatever that means.  Sounded like a good thing to me. He said to go home and relax and he would see me soon and to make an appointment for a week later just in case.  He also said if I start having contractions to go to the hospital pretty quickly.  Of course, I had to go home and clean and get everything I possibly could ready including figuring out where the kids would go.  I was not feeling any regular contractions then.  Just the typically Braxton hicks with more and more back pain.  They were coming more regularly when Eric got home but no pattern yet. So, Eric packed a bag and we put our things in the van.  Called a few family members and told them we were likely having the baby soon.  That is about where I started above.

It is hard for me to believe we are having another little one soon.  Emily is 6 1/2 years old and Elijah turned 4 years old in May.  I have always wanted a big family and never thought my kids would be spread out like this but that is how it has worked out.  We are going back to diapering and all the mess and mayhem of having a baby in the house.  I am trying to be optimistic yet realistic as the same time as to how our family will adjust to the change.  Emi and Elijah are very excited and talk about the baby all the time.  They have talked a little about their fears about what the presence of a baby will do to our family and their status in it.  Emily is most concerned with not having enough time to spend with the baby because she is in school ALL day and also having one on one time with Daddy and Mommy.  Elijah has been wondering and asking whether or not I will love him more than the baby.  Both are happy they are not expected to change diapers.  Eric is of course in the middle of semester of Preaching, Hebrew and Spiritual Formation classes.  No big deal!  We are thankful and very blessed he will be able to take a paid 3 week leave of absence from work when the baby is born.  This will be a great time of bonding and adjusting as a family!  And he will have more time to study! We are praying the baby will come before Emily has her fall break from school - Oct. 13-17.  It would be wonderful for her to be able to spend some good time with the baby without school to worry about.  I will be full term (37 weeks) on Oct. 11.  Emily was born at 34 1/2 weeks and Elijah at 37 weeks and 1 day.  So the chances are good, at least that is my hope.  Anytime would be good for me. 
I worked my last day last Saturday.  It was difficult to let the income go but I know God will provide for all our needs.  He has in so many ways already.  Eric and I are both working on being content with what we have been given and trying to have giving hearts.  After all, it is not ours in the first place.  This is a difficult truth to grasp and live.  Only with the Lord's help!
Emily and Elijah are both doing great in school!  Emily is currently in 1st grade at Littleton Academy, a public charter school.  She loves it there and has made many good friends.  She wears a uniform which makes getting dressed in the morning a breeze.  She is reading at a 2nd grade level and is also in the 2nd grade math group.  We are very proud of her!  She is just as much of a drama queen as ever.  It is difficult for me sometimes to deal with it, but I am learning to be more sympathetic yet at the same time trying to draw a line somewhere for her sake (and others).  Elijah is in a Jr. Kindergarten class at Mission Hills Early Learning Center.  It is a great preschool.  He has the same teachers Emi had two years ago.  He loves it!  He talks about how big he is now that he is in their class.  He is the youngest in the class since you are suppose to be 4 1/2 by September (He just turned 4 at the end of May) to be in the class, but once they are done with enrollment they can add younger kids if space is available.  He are glad he got in and he is doing wonderful.  He is use to playing with older kids anyhow so that was not a big deal.  Academically he is doing well.  He seems to be at the same level as the other kids (half the class has already turned 5 or will be turning 5 in the next month).  There are 11 boys and only 5 girls in his class.  Yikes!  Elijah is becoming more independent every day.  He loves it when he is given choices.  Likes to argue/debate.  He has to win at everything and everything is a competition.  Emily and him get along very well most of the time though they do argue about a lot of silly little things almost constantly (at least it seems like it to me).  The joys of siblings.
Well, that is my update on our family.  Needed to record some of this for my own good.  It is amazing what you forget.